


Happier Season

by OnlineUnicorn



Category: Happiest Season (2020)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, F/F, harper does Not deserve abby, i tried to write a healthy mindset on relationships, mild cursing like once or twice?, no cheating i hope, past reference of getting outed, that was just completely overshadowed in the movie??
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-29
Updated: 2021-01-29
Packaged: 2021-03-15 04:21:20
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,348
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29058147
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/OnlineUnicorn/pseuds/OnlineUnicorn
Summary: Abby’s having trouble understanding Harper’s reasoning in all this, and starts to wonder what their relationship  really means to the both of them. A certain hot brunette helps a little ;)disclaimer: i do Not own these characters and like, 90% of the dialogue.
Relationships: Abby Holland & Riley Johnson, Harper Caldwell/Abby Holland
Comments: 8
Kudos: 20





	Happier Season

**Author's Note:**

  * For [gatos](https://archiveofourown.org/users/gatos/gifts).



> wrote this in a fic swap with a friend! i think i could have added another abby/riley scene in the middle when they shop for a white elephant gift but i’m happy with this for now. hope you enjoy it!

It was all happening too fast. The white elephant gift, the mall, the arrest, Harper, Connor, Harper _and_ Connor, it was starting to make her head spin. She thought she knew her girlfriend, the woman she was planning on proposing too for crying out loud, but this didn’t feel right. That nagging voice in the back of her head told her it was Christmas, because Christmas always brought out the worst in people. A holiday filled with sugar cookies and candied canes was, ironically, turning out to be a very bitter affair.

The way Harper’s parents had looked at her when she walked in felt…paralyzing, like she was eighteen again, trying to make something out of herself. It was true what she had told Mrs. Caldwell, she never went to an orphanage, never got lost in the system. Guess that’s what people consider “lucky” these days. But she still had to fight, she had to learn how to rely on herself more than anybody else. And contrary to popular cliché, it didn’t make her scared to care. Rather, Abby learned to love fiercely, first to her college acquaintance turned best friend John. He seemed to be mildly put off with everything around him, and Abby thought it was very amusing, almost like a cat. Then Harper came along, and how amazing she was, like a whirlwind of laughter and pretty hair and wide eyes and shy looks. Which was funny, because Abby always thought she was more likely to let her nerves get the best of her.

How wrong she was, Abby thought, sitting in the basement as the cold seeped through the floorboards and through her socks, chilling her skin and bones. She heard footfalls descending the stairs and readied herself for another Mrs. Caldwell barge-in. Or worse, Mr. Caldwell himself telling her she was no longer welcome in his house. But when the door opened, it revealed only Harper, looking gorgeous as always. Except she was frowning.

“But I didn't do it!” Abby was in disbelief, she understood how it appeared to an outsider, but did she really look like the kind of person who would steal a necklace from the mall? And didn't Harper even try to stand up for her?

“Baby I know that. But Carolyn thinks it would just be better if you weren’t at the dinner” The rest of her words just started to filter out. Abby didn’t know what to say. How did it come to this, the woman she loved telling her stay in the basement while she went out to a Christmas dinner party with a family who happened to think she was a criminal. Definitely a story to rival Cinderella. A gentle touch on her hand brought her back and she could see a tentative smile on Harper’s face. They sat on the bed, shoulder to shoulder, while Abby focused on her breathing.

“I just think we need a break from the family” Abby’s heart soared, this was the reason she agreed to stick it out in the first place. Probably not the best time to propose, but at least she wouldn’t have to hold her breath hoping she didn't make a mistake that would out Harper. They could clear the air, spend some time together, and maybe this week wouldn’t be so bad after all.

Dinner was quiet, and Abby could feel eyes on her. A stranger during the holidays is no common sight, but one must be out with friends and family that could easily navigate their hometown to point out all the attractions. You weren’t supposed to spend Christmastime by yourself publicly. By the time she had eaten what was enough to get by for the night, Abby felt awful all over again. How long were professional dinner parties supposed to last anyway? After paying the bill, she walked the opposite way of Harper’s house, no point in going back and just sitting alone. There was probably some unspoken rule about being in a house without the host present, and Abby wasn't keen on finding out. The air was sharp, and Abby was surprised to feel it through the numbness that was overtaking her. It was silly that she started to cry when she did, looking at some light up board with the featured title _It’s a Wonderful Life_. It wasn't some message from the universe mocking her, it just happened to be a popular holiday movie and she just happened to be feeling like shit. And if there ever were a clearer sign from the universe, it would probably be the hot brunette walking towards her. _Don’t call her hot, that’s Harper’s ex_ , Abby scolded herself while blinking back the tears. Didn’t want Riley-the-not-hot-brunette to see her being an emotional wreck in the middle of the street. As soon as they started talking, the conversation just flowed. It made Abby feel...warm. So opposite to the cold suffocation she felt in the Caldwell house, having to sneak around and keep up her guard, to be someone deserving of Harper. Abby stopped, _deserving_ , that’s what felt wrong. She was trying to show Harper she deserved her love, that she was willing to go back in the closet for her and to be treated like a criminal and shoved in a basement with no lock on the door just because Harper’s family was stressed? What about her? No, that wasn’t fair, to Abby or to their relationship. She was done waiting around for Harper to make a move. She respected her choices, but that didn't mean she had to make the same ones. With a long exhale, Abby looked up at Riley.

“I’d really like to drink some alcohol” _Here goes nothing_ , Abby braced herself as she followed Riley up the street.

Abby wasn’t a cheater. She’d been cheated on, and it wasn’t great. She’d seen other people get cheated on, and that wasn’t great either. So when Riley brought her to _The Oxwood_ , she made a point to sit on the opposite bench in the booth. Keeping in mind she had to meet Harper later, Abby made sure to order something light.

“So what has she told you?” Riley didn't look angry, just curious, and almost sad, like a widow remembering a spouse not directly after their passing, but years later when the grief had settled.

“That you dated in high school. That you were her first girlfriend” Abby didn't feel bitter saying the words, she didn't feel defensive either. John might have said it was because she didn't see Riley as a threat, but Abby knew it was something different. And seeing the pain on Riley’s face confirmed her suspicions, Harper hadn’t told her everything, and it wasn't to spare Abby’s feelings.

“Growing up, we were totally inseparable. We were best friends. And then, freshman year, we became more than friends. We started dating. But nobody knew that, obviously” Abby waited patiently, she knew Riley would never admit this, but she could see it was hard for her.

“And we would, like, leave these little love letters in each other’s lockers. And one day, one of Harper’s friends found one of the letters and she asked Harper what it was about and Harper basically just said that I am gay and that I wouldn't leave her alone.” Abby felt cold, through her sweater and socks and coat on her lap inside the cramped bar with too many people, it came from inside her. When she shifted in her seat the felt the metal sitting on her collarbone like ice, sinking into her chest. The necklace that Harper had given her, the one that matched with her own. It felt wrong, the woman she knew, the kind, sweet, lovely Harper, outing her best friend. It was all she could do to nod her head and let Riley finish.

“And then within a couple days, like, everybody in school found out and everybody was so awful to me.” Abby couldn’t imagine, being fifteen and having to deal with homophobia on top of the usual teenager clique vs clique. She wanted to say something, anything, to make Riley feel better. But what could she say? _Sorry my girlfriend outed you in high school and left you to be bullied for three years? And by the way, I think I want to leave her for you?_ What are the rules about that kind of thing anyway.

“But that was a long time ago.”

“Yeah.” Riley seemed to want to move on from the conversation, and who was Abby to stop her. But she couldn’t stop thinking about it. Even after Riley tried to make her sing, and when she shifted over to Abby’s side of the booth, and their shoulders touched. Abby knew she had to leave. She wasn’t a cheater, that's why she had to break it off with Harper.

“Um, it’s- Harper texted me” Riley looked disappointed, or maybe Abby was just eager to pretend she felt the same way, but she made way for her to leave the booth.

_Fratty’s_ felt so different from the red lights and intimate environment at _The Oxwood_ , it was too fast paced and strange. But Abby was here for Harper, for them to finally clear the air. Unfortunately, Harper looked a little too drunk to remember her promise from earlier.

“How was tonight” Abby forced a smile, lying through her teeth.

“It was great” She could tell Harper was just going through the motions, asking her questions but not actually asking about her. A part of Abby was glad, she could imagine how their night would go if Harper was actually paying attention. _How was my night? I had drinks with your hot ex and realized you were a pretty cruel preteen and am now contemplating breaking up with you._ Yeah, probably better to let this happen to let herself cool off. But then an hour passed, and Abby was reaching her limit. She had to leave before she did something she regretted.

“Are you having the most terrible time?” _Yes_.

“No, no I’m just tired” _Liar_. But truth be told, Abby was tired. She was tired of pretending to be Harper’s straight friend whilst she leaned against her ex-boyfriend. She was tired of being surrounded by strangers without her one and only to face the world with. She was tired of Christmas

“I think I’m gonna go” _Say you’ll come with me_. Abby wanted it to work out. She loved Harper, you can’t really spend a year with someone, move in together, agree to finally meet the parents, and most of all, plan a fucking proposal, all to someone you’re not at least crazy in love with. But emotion is a funny thing really, letting Abby fall almost completely out of love in just a few days. Which begs the question, was it really a relationship meant to last? Their first test, and it all crumbles just like that? It was too much for Abby, she needed some peace and quiet to figure this out. Though it wouldn’t hurt to have the object of her troubles join her.

“I kind of want to stay a bit longer. Is that okay?” Abby found herself nodding, not hearing the rest. Guess she was going to have to figure this out alone.

Any hope of solving her relationship troubles that night went down the drain as soon as she got into bed. Half of her wanted to leave Harper, to just start fresh. Not just because of Riley, but because of who she saw when Harper was here at home, who she was in high school. Abby wasn't holding it against her (it wasn’t her grudge to hold) but she hadn’t even been honest about it after all those years. And dragging Abby here under false pretenses didn't really help her case. On the other hand, she knew Harper (mostly) meant well. She cared about her parents, but she also didn’t want Abby to be alone. It was a classic people pleaser’s dilemma. Abby really didn’t want to be the one to throw a year long relationship down the drain over one bad Christmas, but she was really nearing the end of her rope.

Abby woke up the next morning with a mission: talk to Harper, like, really talk to her. It seemed to be in the Christmas spirit that their conversation went belly up almost immediately.

“It just feels a little…suffocating” Abby almost jerked back. Harper was feeling suffocated? In her own house? After a night out with her friends? Which happened to be after dinner with her family?

“ _I’m_ suffocating _you_?” Harper looked away, looking like she didn’t want to be having this conversation. Did she ever want to have this conversation? Or was Abby supposed to stumble on blindly for the rest of the week? She could feel her anger from yesterday coming back.

“You agreed to this.” That felt like a slap in the face. Technically, she had, but Abby knew they both remembered the next morning when Harper tried to talk her out of it, waiting for the honest to god last minute to reveal their wonderfully twisted current circumstances. And on top of it all, Harper was shushing her. This conversation was getting no where.

“I just- I feel like we need some space” Yesterday, it was Harper and Abby who needed space from the family, and now, less than 24 hours later it was Harper needing space _from_ Abby. Her decision seemed to be made, except for the fact she was essentially trapped at the Caldwell’s. It was nothing short of a miracle when John called. John, with his apologies and open invitation to listen stood no chance against Abby’s whirlwind mess of a holiday. But as quickly as relief came it vanished.

“I’m gonna need to give this a think” Abby couldn’t find it in her heart to be mad at John. What did she expect really, he was miles away and she couldn’t exactly expect him to make her decision for her. It was nice of him to let her spill her guts at least, he was good at that. And who knows, maybe he’d call back in half an hour with some intricate plan to ditch her soon to be ex-girlfriend and make it home in time to do some silly little post Christmas celebrating. But she couldn’t rely on that, she had to focus on the problem at hand: surviving Christmas with the Caldwells. Luckily, it gave her the perfect excuse to call a certain someone.

Getting to spend time with Riley and finally finding a White Elephant Gift really helped get rid of some the tension Abby felt. Walking back into the house didn’t fell great, but Abby felt like she could handle whatever the evening brought. Tomorrow was a different story, but one step at a time. Her conversations with Tipper and Ted both fell flat, and it was painfully obvious they couldn’t care less about anything besides their own motives at the moment. That was fine with Abby, she wouldn’t be seeing much of them soon anyway. The only other person she felt a little guilty of not interacting enough with was Jane. She had to live with these people, to hear them make accusations all day long and fix their problems one after the other. It was strange, to see how other people’s family dynamics worked. Abby didn't want throw stones at glass houses, but it didn't really seem all that necessary to treat Jane with the indifference they did. Abby tried to show enthusiasm with what little interaction they had, to try and convey her observations, _Hey, I see you_. Watching her reminded Abby of her freshman year of college when she tried to make friends by doing as much as she could here and there, both out of kindness and in attempt to be friendly. It hadn’t really worked out, but maybe it was different when said people were family members. Their conversation was cut short with Jane’s skills being required for a printer jam, leaving Abby to peer at the “masterpiece” with genuine curiosity. It was only when she heard footsteps that she turned around to see Harper coming down the stairs. Abby hated to admit that she could still take her breath away. But that wasn’t enough anymore.

“What’d you do today?” _Gave you space_. Abby did her best to stay calm. She knew she hadn’t done anything wrong, and it's not like Harper knew anyway. But she did seem a little off.

“I got a White Elephant gift” Harper didn’t seem convinced, of what, Abby was unsure. Maybe she did know? Was that thing about small towns true? Everyone everywhere spreads gossip? The whole interaction left her feeling less confident than she originally was.

The party seemed to be going great, meaning Abby was out of the way and Harper was doing her best to help her parents do whatever the whole point of this terrible weekend was. Abby didn't meant to make it seem like she didn't care, but she’d gotten hurt enough to spend time and energy on something that clearly wasn’t good for her well being. She needed to speak to Harper soon.

“What are you drinking” She had to fight to keep a smile off her lips, maybe now this party could be bearable.

“It’s a spiced…alcohol” She honestly had no clue, having grabbed the first glass she could to keep the edge off. They took turns sipping whatever (hopefully edible) spirit it was and ended up playing a fun sort of game which involved looking at people from across the room and guessing what they were talking about. Abby could feel Harper glancing at her from time to time but refused to meet her gaze. She was done being the one trying to make it work. If Harper had something to say, she’d have to come over and say it. Unfortunately, she decided to go with the alternative option and ignore Abby.

“What’s happening” Riley’s question brought her back to Earth. What was happening? Wasn't she supposed to be done now? What was she waiting for?

“I need to do something, something I hope I don't regret next week. I’ve realized a lot this weekend, some of it thanks to you. And I think I’m about to hurt someone really bad” Riley was smart, she seemed to catch on pretty quickly, and luckily, she had some questions to keep Abby’s plan from falling through.

“What exactly do you plan to do afterwards? It’s Christmas Eve, nothing will be open and every mode of transportation will either be price gouged through the roof or straight up closed. Not to mention, don’t you two live together?” Abby nodded, seemed fair to ask. And honestly, she hadn't thought that far through it. All this planning about what she wanted to do, but nothing about what she was going to do after.

“Right, you think on that. I’m gonna get us some real drinks” Abby felt a little foolish, but was still mostly undeterred. She realized she'd probably look like the asshole who dumped her girlfriend on Christmas Eve but considering the circumstances, Harper was lucky she didn't get dumped on Christmas. She’d just have to risk it with the one grand Lyft drive, considering the alternative was a minute more in holiday hell and probably months in therapy. And as for her living situation, she could probably camp on John’s couch for a bit until she found a new place, it wasn't like he hadn't offered before.

“Abby. Abby!” Considering how much Abby decidedly did not like Christmas, she was sure getting a lot of Christmas miracles.

“John how are you here?!” The relief was back, to see a safe person felt so wonderful, someone who cared about her. Abby thought she was about to cry.

“That phone call earlier was a cry for help. I’m here to rescue you. Please get your things” Abby felt like she could hug him, which she wouldn't actually do because it wouldn't make much sense, him being her “ex-boyfriend” and all. Seeing a familiar face gave her the strength to take one last look at Harper, the previous love of her life. She knew the pain in her chest would only grow before it got better, so she welcomed it. And with it, she actually found the strength to fully turn and march to her.

“It’s over. I’m done.”And then she left. She was walking down the hall and racing down the steps into that dark cold basement for the last time. She was packing her clothes into the duffel when Harper came up to her.

“Can we just talk for a second?” _Oh now she wants to talk, what happened to needing space_. Abby knew there would never be a better time. If Harper wanted to talk now, she owed her this much before leaving.

“Sure, we can talk” Harper looked panicked, frantic.

“Don't leave, please don't leave. It's just one more day and I’ll tell them I swear” Abby wanted to believe her but the truth was, it didn't matter anymore.

“I don't want to force you Harper, I know how coming out feels and I want you to do it when you're ready, not because you think it will make me stay.” Harper looked ready to cry, and Abby probably looked the same.

“What are you saying?” Abby straightened her shoulders.

“I’m saying, I don't think this, us, is right. I don't think we want the same things. You value your family so much, and I appreciate that about you, but you don't do enough for yourself, you let them consume you. And I just thought” Abby’s voice starts to crack a little guess she couldn't stop the tears.

“I just thought maybe I could be your family too.” Harper starts to shake her head, her lips are pressed in a line and she’s crying too.

“I’m sorry Abby, I’m so sorry. I didn't want to lose them and instead I’ve lost you”

“I don't think it was ever going to work out to be honest, we had a great time, and I really did love you, I probably still will after all this. But I can't be with someone who wants me to hide for them.” Harper nods, and Abby feels a weight lifted off her shoulders. She’s done it, it’s over. They’re both in tears and her chest aches but it’s over. She’d ask for a hug but they’re both probably too raw for that right now. At least she helps Abby with the packing. She zips up the duffel and looks to Harper, they exchange small sad smiles. It’ll be painful for a while. Harper breaks the silence first, clearing her throat.

“I’ll stay here for a while, just to give you time to clean out your things” Abby starts to protest but Harper cuts her off.

“It’s better this way, there's a few things I have to take care of anyway” And Abby understands.

“So um, see you sometime next year?” Despite it all, Harper gives a short laugh.

“Yeah, I’ll let you know” Abby starts to walk away when she hears her name.

“Take care ok?”

“Yeah, you too. Don’t let your family get to you too much, and tell Jane to send me a picture of her masterpiece” Harper nods and smiles again, this one a little stronger.

Abby throws her duffel in the trunk and turns to her best friend.

“John, how can I ever repay you?”

“Stay out of the apartment on Tuesday nights and I’ll consider us even” She knows he’s not joking but she laughs anyways, everything seems funny now. She doesn’t have to pretend anymore, she doesn't have to watch someone she loves rip her heart out every night, and she doesn't feel the need to disprove that she’s some orphan criminal mastermind anymore. After a few more chuckles someone clears their throat behind them. John turns around first and rushes to the front of the car mumbling something about needing to get the car running because “I refuse to touch the steering wheel before it’s at least room temperature”. Abby turns around rolling her eyes to see Riley, holding two glasses of an amber liquid (probably scotch) and grinning.

“What took you so long? Is that hand brewed especially for me?”

“Don’t insult the process, my family has been flirting this way for centuries”

“What, you leave a girl hanging and then swoop in at the last minute with her drink of choice?”

“Well, is it working?” Riley’s smirking but Abby could see the genuine question underneath. She took a swig before responding, just to calm the nerves.

“I wouldn't say it's not working” Riley laughed.

“Not double negatives! You know I have a condition!” They both burst into fits of laughter while trying to hold their drinks steady. Abby somehow doubted Mrs. Caldwell would appreciate her glassware buried in the snow, especially after she had just broken her daughter’s heart. John peeked his head out the window and did the most polite warning he was capable of.

“Abby the steering wheel is warm enough, let’s go!” The two women straightened back up, stray chuckles lingering in the air. Abby gestured to the car with her head.

“Guess it’s time for me to head out” Riley crossed her arms and sighed.

“Guess so.” She wanted to say more, so much more.

“Listen, I know we just met but-“ Riley cut her off.

“You just got out of a fairly long term relationship, so I’m gonna stop you right there. The answer to your question is probably yes, but get yourself sorted out first. You have my number, give me a call when you’re ready, alright?” Abby didn't know if she would be able to stop smiling.

“Alright. Thank you, for everything” Riley winked and did a little salute.

“Merry Christmas Abby”

“Merry Christmas”

**Author's Note:**

> my first non-community fic...if you miss that stuff i talk abt it on twitter a lot! @/fishclownkstan :)


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